Hunter Poetry

Several years ago, I made a request for hunter poetry, or general (original) WoW poetry, in anticipation of the first WHU live BBQ in Frostheim’s hometown. I did the same the following year. These were a great success, and have appeared sporadically in podcasts and articles over the years.

But they’ve never ALL been posted. Until now.

This is the beginning of a series where I’ll post every hunter poem I have in my collection. Wherever possible, I’ll post the name of the hunter who contributed it. There may be a few where this was lost, but I’ll do my best. This first installment features a couple of my own, but dozens of hunters contributed to the collection and will be featured in coming weeks.

And if you’ve ever submitted a poem to me, thank you. And to everyone: enjoy!

 

Elves vs. Dwarves (by Årth) (NSF children)

Poop in a stall, avoid a big brawl
For I am a delicate elf.
Climb a big tree, see what’s to see
For I am a tree-hugging elf.
Let out a sigh, when I see a butterfly
For nature is one with an elf.
I abhor all guns, a bow is more fun
More fun for this gun-hating elf.
A dwarf walks toward me, he is short and silly
Not worth the time of this elf.
He punches me in the face, there’s blood all over the place
The blood of this delicate elf.
He kicks me in the head, shoots his gun till I’m dead
Feel bad for this poor, poor elf.
He treats me like a whore, has his way with my corpse
This cackling dwarf on an elf.
He gives me to his bear, and other animals to share
They take turns devouring this elf.
I finally reach heaven, to be with my brethren
A final rest for this elf.
But there are no elves to see, Just dwarves torturing me
An eternal hell for this elf.
So take it from me, when you’re at the character screen
Pick a dwarf, not an elf.

 

Haiku to Haste (by Årth)

Haste is a great stat
It does many different things
Except make any sense.

 

Untitled (by Dannok of Whisperwind)

I enter into Blackrock Caverns and gasp
Fire and targets waver before me
My bow tenses
My fingers tickle the feathers of a notched arrow
I wait, breathless
I see the paladin run in and hit Rom’ogg
Once,
Twice,
And then I fire gustily,
Greedily, like a hunter starved
For I am…
For the death of my enemies
But, only five arrows decorate the chest of Rom’ogg
Before his baleful gaze lights upon me
I grab my chest,
Drop my bow,
And pitch forward
The taste of ash and rock fills my mouth as I count to ten
Then, up I fly
Grabbing my bow,
Nocking an arrow,
And let fly
There is no holding back now
My shots fly faster and faster
Chains of Woe hold no terror for me
And the small, scrabbling elementals may impress others
But my bow sings to the misery of such
Rom’ogg feels my sting
As he falls
To the ground
Ruined

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  1. Chevonne says:

    Interesting read. The sincerity of Dannok and then Arth to crack me up. :)

  2. Thornagol says:

    I almost spat out my oatmeal this morning when I read the haste haiku. That was great!

  3. Anonymous says:

    The haiku has too many syllables

    • Blur says:

      Nope, different \di-fərnt\ is 2 syllables not 3

      • Arth says:

        He’s talking about the 3rd line. It was just a creative decision after I couldn’t say what I wanted in exactly five syllables. Not too worrisome in the scheme of things.

  4. Dielhelm says:

    It’s not a haiku with too many syllables. Sorry, it just isn’t.

    • Arth says:

      Read it as ‘cept if it rankles your sensibilities. I’m not too worried about exactitude in classification.