TV, DPS Meters, and Cock

Posted: by Frostheim


So over the Thanksgiving holidays I watched a whole bunch of Grey’s Anatomy. Now I’m not proud of this, but there it is, and it made me think about damage meters.

See, I got to thinking about their portrayal of surgeons as ultra-competitive and decided that it’s probably true, at least based on how common the portrayal is in tv and books. The idea is that the medical educational system encourages students and residents to be competitive under the theory that it makes them better doctors. Sure some of them burn out or freak out and drop out, but that’s Darwinian.

So my theory is that dpsers are like surgeons.

You could make an argument that dps meters are a blight on the world and are in fact are Satan’s tool of death and destruction right here on this very planet. But it’s also how dpsers measure their skill, their ego, and the size of their penises.

And here’s the thing: I think that kind of competition, pushing and pushing to do more dps than that stupid achievement-whore elf is a good thing for the raid, just as it is for surgeons.

Sure every now and then they screw up out of exhaustion or leave scissors in a patient ’cause they’re trying to beat their record time on an appendectomy. But overall it makes them better doctors, and does more good than harm.

Sure we sometimes watch Recount too closely and Omen not closely enough and pull aggro, then wipe the raid. But overall it forces our dps output up, and spread across 15 or so dpsers, that can make a huge difference in progression.

Really, it’s the only way we have to measure ourselves, and measure is unceasing.

Tanks are a success when all the mobs attack them. Healers are a success when the tanks (and to a lesser extent, the rest of the raid) stays alive. It’s easy for them to measure their success. But for dpsers, the size of our dicks is all we got, and that size can only be measured by the obsessively growing bar on our damage meters.

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  1. Bowmonster says:

    endelss necro, i realise, but in light of the “Best of WHU” ill post. this one will get a vote for sure ;)